stupid.

what makes you think he’ll change for you? if he’s doing it to me he’s clearly going to do it to you too. stupid girls.

“@Darkskin: When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option but a priority. Loyalty is everything.”

Why is it so hard to not lie when you’re in a relationship? Lying about little things dont matter, it’s lying about the big things that help build and maintain the trust you have with your other half right?

When I ask you a question, I want a direct answer… I don’t believe in this “lying because I don’t want you to get mad” billshit.

Today at the Seahawks game Udoka and I had really good seats, like row a, no one was blocking our field of the game or anything… And an older guy comes up to usoka and asks if he had tickets, and they weren’t really nice about, Udoka felt like he asked him that just because he wasnt up to that guys standard or something.. And come to find out they got kicked out cos they didn’t have tickets! Moral of the story is, karma is a bitch, what comes around goes around.

So why lie? When EVERYTHING comes to the light? Which it just did… It’s 5:41 am and I don’t know what to do.

I can’t take it anymore

I really can’t

I’m so fed up, so tired, so angry, sad I  can’t stand it anymore. I don’t deserve this, I’m too good of a person to deserve this. You’re selfish and an asshole… It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair.

 

I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better.

Pity party

Here’s this feeling again, knowing I deserve better but settling what I have. My own little pity party… I fantasize about a wonderful beautiful relationship I deserve, and crave because I think I deserve one. One where he wants me around, appreciates all the strange things about me, my crazy thoughts, I want something good, something that makes me truly happy, someone that will love me, I’m so tired of the one do all the loving, I want to be loved, to be catered to, to finally not have to do so much work, where I can relax, know when I’m not at my best or trying my hardest, he’s still going to love me, I’m tired of trying so hard, scared of being not needed anymore, i shouldnt have these fears… What am i afraid of more? my I’m not a bad person, but I’m scared to go through everything, but in the end I’ll be a stronger person?

</3

i think I’m ready to go home:(

Regretting

You are always making me regret my decisions, I wanna do something nice, you wanna do something to fuck up my NICE. My heart literally DROPS when I hear something negative, shortness of mother fucking breath! I can’t deal with this no more. Some people say, if you don’t trust him now, how are you gonna trust him in a relationship? How? BECAUSE, when we’re like this we can’t do certain things, I fucking hate giving my ALL when I’m receiving half. Then why do I stay? I don’t know, maybe because I know things can be better, they have the potential to be better, I’ve seen it. I’m not trying to get hurt, I’m not trying to see you get into something and just have you say, “I’m single, we weren’t official” that’s the shit that gets to me. I’m tired, I’m picking up your fucking birthday present tomorrow, I make you happy, what the fuck do I get. You, mad at me. Fuck you. Oh “stop, please stop, I don’t want you to ruin my night”, fuck you you ruined my fucking life, lost my friends because of your STUPID actions when you were drunk. You break my fucking heart all the time. I’m not made of fucking steel! I’m so tired, I regret everything.

“Can’t Be Friends”

“Can’t Be Friends”

Look? what this girl don’ did to me
She dun cut me off from a good good love.

She told me that those days were gone (gone, gone, gone)
Now I’m sitting here going half crazy

Cuz I know she still thinks about me too
And there ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

The way it felt, no faking it
Maybe we were moving just a little too fast.

But what we’ve done we cant take it back
Now I’m sitting here half way crazy

Cuz I know she still thinks about me too
And there ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

And all I can say is
La la la la la la la la laaaaa
La la la la la la la la la, la la laowwww
La la la la la la laaaa, heeeey

Ain’t no tellin what we could have been,
Ain’t telling what we could’ve been, oooh
And if I knew it would end like this,
I never would have kissed ya, cuz I fell in love with ya,
We never would’ve kicked it, cuz now everything’s different
I lost my only lover and my friend that’s why I wished we never did it
(ouu layyy)

And I wish we never loved it (I wish we never loved it!)
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

La la la la la la la la laaaaa
La la la la la la la la laaaaa

High off of love, drunk from my hate

“Love The Way You Lie”
(feat. Rihanna)

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
I can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now it’s a steel knife in my windpipe
I can’t breathe but I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right it’s like I’m in flight
High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It’s like I’m huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate
And right before I’m about to drown, she resuscitates me
She fucking hates me and I love it.
Wait! Where you going?
“I’m leaving you”
No you ain’t. Come back we’re running right back.
Here we go again
It’s so insane cause when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad it’s awful, I feel so ashamed I snapped
Who’s that dude? I don’t even know his name
I laid hands on her, I’ll never stoop so low again
I guess I don’t know my own strength

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
You ever love somebody so much you can barely breathe
When you’re with ‘em
You meet and neither one of you even knows what hit ‘em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah, them those chills you used to get ‘em
Now you’re getting fucking sick of looking at ‘em
You swore you’d never hit ‘em; never do nothing to hurt ‘em
Now you’re in each other’s face spewing venom in your words when you spit them
You push pull each other’s hair, scratch claw hit ‘em
Throw ‘em down pin ‘em
So lost in the moments when you’re in them
It’s the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say you’re best to go your separate ways
Guess if they don’t know you ’cause today that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her
Next time you show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
I guess that’s why they call it window pane

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

[Eminem]
Now I know we said things, did things that we didn’t mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper’s just as bad as mine is
You’re the same as me
But when it comes to love you’re just as blinded
Baby, please come back
It wasn’t you, baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
I told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the drywall
Next time. There won’t be no next time
I apologize even though I know its lies
I’m tired of the games I just want her back
I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
Im’a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire
I’m just gonna

[Chorus - Rihanna:]
Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I’m scared :( please don’t do anything you’re gonna regret…

God I wish I was 21 so I can drink and forget about your dumbass fucking hate you

SELFISH

Pronunciation: \ˈsel-fish\
Function: adjective
Date: 1640

1 : concerned excessively or exclusively with oneself : seeking or concentrating on one’s own advantage, pleasure, or well-being without regard for others
2 : arising from concern with one’s own welfare or advantage in disregard of others
3 : being an actively replicating repetitive sequence of nucleic acid that serves no known function ; also : being genetic material solely concerned with its own replication

You’re so selfish, when I remind you of the things I do you call that “guilt tripping” I shouldn’t even have to guilt trip you you should be recognizing the things I do for you every damn day! And just because I’m asking about your night you’re gonna think I’m questioning you? It works both ways, I changed you change, I’m starting to trust you. It’s hard to trust in my situation, why don’t you understand that? Why can’t you put yourself in MY shoes and think about how I feel?! You’re so selfish and full of yourself you don’t even care. We always eat/do EVERYTHING you want to, and when I want to change it up a bit and DO SOMETHING you don’t want to. I like how when someone else invites you to do something you would love to go and do it, and when I ask you to go to the zoo or something you’re gonna say “oh I’m too lazy” wtf is this? We always do everything you want to! I’m your fucking slave! Fuck you, you selfish bitch! You keep saying “you always say you’re gonna change” well shit you keep putting me down, how am I supposed to change? FUCK YOU! You’re such an asshole, wtf I’m so mad at you right now. I ask you to help me look for something so I don’t have to spend EXTRA money on something you can’t get your lazy ass up? Fuck man, try and find another female that puts up with all your shit. I’m fucking tired of it.