Here’s this feeling again, knowing I deserve better but settling what I have. My own little pity party… I fantasize about a wonderful beautiful relationship I deserve, and crave because I think I deserve one. One where he wants me around, appreciates all the strange things about me, my crazy thoughts, I want something good, something that makes me truly happy, someone that will love me, I’m so tired of the one do all the loving, I want to be loved, to be catered to, to finally not have to do so much work, where I can relax, know when I’m not at my best or trying my hardest, he’s still going to love me, I’m tired of trying so hard, scared of being not needed anymore, i shouldnt have these fears… What am i afraid of more? my I’m not a bad person, but I’m scared to go through everything, but in the end I’ll be a stronger person?

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