stupid.

what makes you think he’ll change for you? if he’s doing it to me he’s clearly going to do it to you too. stupid girls.

“@Darkskin: When it comes to relationships, remaining faithful is never an option but a priority. Loyalty is everything.”

Why is it so hard to not lie when you’re in a relationship? Lying about little things dont matter, it’s lying about the big things that help build and maintain the trust you have with your other half right?

When I ask you a question, I want a direct answer… I don’t believe in this “lying because I don’t want you to get mad” billshit.

Today at the Seahawks game Udoka and I had really good seats, like row a, no one was blocking our field of the game or anything… And an older guy comes up to usoka and asks if he had tickets, and they weren’t really nice about, Udoka felt like he asked him that just because he wasnt up to that guys standard or something.. And come to find out they got kicked out cos they didn’t have tickets! Moral of the story is, karma is a bitch, what comes around goes around.

So why lie? When EVERYTHING comes to the light? Which it just did… It’s 5:41 am and I don’t know what to do.

I can’t take it anymore

I really can’t

I’m so fed up, so tired, so angry, sad I  can’t stand it anymore. I don’t deserve this, I’m too good of a person to deserve this. You’re selfish and an asshole… It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s not fair.

 

I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better I deserve better.

Pity party

Here’s this feeling again, knowing I deserve better but settling what I have. My own little pity party… I fantasize about a wonderful beautiful relationship I deserve, and crave because I think I deserve one. One where he wants me around, appreciates all the strange things about me, my crazy thoughts, I want something good, something that makes me truly happy, someone that will love me, I’m so tired of the one do all the loving, I want to be loved, to be catered to, to finally not have to do so much work, where I can relax, know when I’m not at my best or trying my hardest, he’s still going to love me, I’m tired of trying so hard, scared of being not needed anymore, i shouldnt have these fears… What am i afraid of more? my I’m not a bad person, but I’m scared to go through everything, but in the end I’ll be a stronger person?

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i think I’m ready to go home:(

Regretting

You are always making me regret my decisions, I wanna do something nice, you wanna do something to fuck up my NICE. My heart literally DROPS when I hear something negative, shortness of mother fucking breath! I can’t deal with this no more. Some people say, if you don’t trust him now, how are you gonna trust him in a relationship? How? BECAUSE, when we’re like this we can’t do certain things, I fucking hate giving my ALL when I’m receiving half. Then why do I stay? I don’t know, maybe because I know things can be better, they have the potential to be better, I’ve seen it. I’m not trying to get hurt, I’m not trying to see you get into something and just have you say, “I’m single, we weren’t official” that’s the shit that gets to me. I’m tired, I’m picking up your fucking birthday present tomorrow, I make you happy, what the fuck do I get. You, mad at me. Fuck you. Oh “stop, please stop, I don’t want you to ruin my night”, fuck you you ruined my fucking life, lost my friends because of your STUPID actions when you were drunk. You break my fucking heart all the time. I’m not made of fucking steel! I’m so tired, I regret everything.

“Can’t Be Friends”

“Can’t Be Friends”

Look? what this girl don’ did to me
She dun cut me off from a good good love.

She told me that those days were gone (gone, gone, gone)
Now I’m sitting here going half crazy

Cuz I know she still thinks about me too
And there ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends with you (you, you, you)

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

The way it felt, no faking it
Maybe we were moving just a little too fast.

But what we’ve done we cant take it back
Now I’m sitting here half way crazy

Cuz I know she still thinks about me too
And there ain’t no way in hell, that I can be just friends

And I wish we never did it
And I wish we never loved it
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

And all I can say is
La la la la la la la la laaaaa
La la la la la la la la la, la la laowwww
La la la la la la laaaa, heeeey

Ain’t no tellin what we could have been,
Ain’t telling what we could’ve been, oooh
And if I knew it would end like this,
I never would have kissed ya, cuz I fell in love with ya,
We never would’ve kicked it, cuz now everything’s different
I lost my only lover and my friend that’s why I wished we never did it
(ouu layyy)

And I wish we never loved it (I wish we never loved it!)
And I wish I never felt so deep in love with you and now ain’t no way we can be friends.

La la la la la la la la laaaaa
La la la la la la la la laaaaa